Well, the cool weather arrived right after the torrential rain and showed me just how much of a difference conditions make. Heat and humidity rob me of around 2 or 3 grades :(.
I have moved to the Grampians and spent the last few days at Taipan Wall. Arriving under the wall and looking up was an awe inspiring experience, I can't remember the last time I stood at a cliff and felt soul sapping fear before I had even found the routes. I "warmed up" with an on sight of first pitch of Seventh Banana (23) and then took 2 days to redpoint The Invisible Fist of Professor Hiddich Smiddich (26). The latter is what Australians call a "sporting sport" route, i.e. The first bolt is 6 metres up and there is 4+ metres between every bolt thereafter. After this, I chickened out of trying anything harder on Taipan wall and instead scared myself at least as much on an adjacent cliff trying a feindishly technical slab route where my feet sloshed around my shoes in a bath of sweat and the sun burned me off the cliff.
I am now off to either Bundaleer or the Gallery for some more steep sport nonsense that the cooler and showery weather should fit in with just fine.
Being on holiday for such a long period has forced me to stretch my culinary skills beyond the ubiquitous pasta + sauce of most previous holidays and for posterity, I shall include here a sample recipe from my camp cooking repetoire:
Sausage Suprise
(Serves 2 real men)
Ingredients:
6 lamb sausages, chopped into short pieces.
1 jar apple sauce
2 large onions, sliced.
200g mushrooms, sliced
Several cloves Garlic, sliced
8 medium sized potatoes
paprika
salt
olive oil
runny honey
Recipe:
1) Put the potatoes in a pot of salty water and simmer.
2) Fry the sausages in olive oil till nearly done, then add the onions and garlic and fry till onions soft, then add onions and fry for another 2 minutes or so.
3) Add the apple sauce, a pinch of salt, some paprika or whatever other spice is to hand and a generous squeeze of honey to the sausages. Continue to heat till whole mixture is hot.
4) drain potatoes, add the whole lot together and eat. Best served with clearskin special Aldi red wine (or slightly green looking rain water from the camp tank.)
Tuesday, 14 December 2010
Tuesday, 7 December 2010
Water, water everywhere...
...but most of it full of mud! Hmm, think I fudged that quote, nevermind. Last night there was a truly superb thunderstorm, the downpour was of an intensity I have not seen often and at its height, constant thunder was accompanying lightening that flickering with less than a second between strikes. The rain continues, somewhat abated, today and there are floods everywhere. The positive side to all this is that the temperature should come right back down and be vaguely suitable for climbing once more.
I have managed to get some routes done most days recently, despite the rain but the conditions are not really lending themselves to anything very hard so it has been pretty much mid grade classics all the way. The massive humidity levels are difficult to adapt to, heat alone is avoidable but with humidity at 90% the whole time as well it's a bit of a misery fest.
Swimming in the river one day brought a bit of relief from the heat, not really what I expected though, even the rivers in Australia are incredibly warm. Apparently I need to learn how to give out better negative signals to girls I only want to be friends with as well (who would have thought it) because the alternative is horribly awkward!
I have managed to get some routes done most days recently, despite the rain but the conditions are not really lending themselves to anything very hard so it has been pretty much mid grade classics all the way. The massive humidity levels are difficult to adapt to, heat alone is avoidable but with humidity at 90% the whole time as well it's a bit of a misery fest.
Swimming in the river one day brought a bit of relief from the heat, not really what I expected though, even the rivers in Australia are incredibly warm. Apparently I need to learn how to give out better negative signals to girls I only want to be friends with as well (who would have thought it) because the alternative is horribly awkward!
Thursday, 2 December 2010
Hide and Seek
Well, I've been having an amusing game of hide and seek with the weather recently. The storms that occur out on flat plains are a pretty exciting experience for me. Unlike Scottish weather that generally does the same thing over quite a wide area, the storms in Victoria are extremely localised, often only a kilometer wide, they float across the plains soaking one area and leaving others dry and sunny. Trying to climb in these conditions with several storms floating around every direction you look in is pretty entertaining and sometimes very wet! On the positive side, the temperature is chronically low for this time of year, which suits me just fine.
Almost everyone I was having fun hanging out with and climbing with has left in the last few days, the pines campsight overall is looking rather deserted infact. There are still sufficient partners to climb with though, which is a lucky coincidence as I have a few climbs I would rather like to tick before I leave. I have been back on Jet Lag, 29, on the sport wall and with the help of a little beta I can now do the route in about 2 links, stringing the whole thing together though will remain quite a trial.
I should be Arapiles for another couple of weeks and then off to Melbourne for a few weeks before heading out to Buffalo to do some climbs with a chap in the Victoria Climbing Club in the latter half of January.
Almost everyone I was having fun hanging out with and climbing with has left in the last few days, the pines campsight overall is looking rather deserted infact. There are still sufficient partners to climb with though, which is a lucky coincidence as I have a few climbs I would rather like to tick before I leave. I have been back on Jet Lag, 29, on the sport wall and with the help of a little beta I can now do the route in about 2 links, stringing the whole thing together though will remain quite a trial.
I should be Arapiles for another couple of weeks and then off to Melbourne for a few weeks before heading out to Buffalo to do some climbs with a chap in the Victoria Climbing Club in the latter half of January.
Tuesday, 23 November 2010
My blood is too thick for Australia
The heat and humidity has arrived like an oppressive military government and in it's wake I have discovered the joys of sitting in the shade and not moving. Climbing at a reasonable standard is still possible in the most shady gullys during the morning hours but any cliffs that only get afternoon shade are just too hot for me to touch. The mosquitos population has exploded like some out-of-control von neumann nightmare and it's almost impossible to sleep till after midnight. All this and the temperature is still only about 33-34 celcius. Thankfully cooler weather is on the way and I have made a firm decision not to be in Arapiles beyond the end of December, hopefully I will be climbing in Tasmania for February and March.
In the wake of Merlins accident, the police decided they needed to impound all the gear we were using for an "investigation". Several days later after an interview with an officer to get the facts of the incident down and release of the gear when they had finished with it, I was left with the impression that the Horsham police are quite affable folk and keen to do their job but at the same time rather amateur about it.
Merlins fall has affected me more psychologically than I thought it would too. Since then I have had to battle with a lot more fear than normal on hard climbs when I am above the gear. Also I appear to be getting weak and feeble! Every grade I climb seems to be harder than it was in the first few weeks I was here and I tried the next step up the ladder on the sport wall above camp (french 8a) but the holds are just a bit too small for me to move between and all I accomplished was scraping flesh off my fingers.
I think I'm losing weight because I almost have a six pack :)
In the wake of Merlins accident, the police decided they needed to impound all the gear we were using for an "investigation". Several days later after an interview with an officer to get the facts of the incident down and release of the gear when they had finished with it, I was left with the impression that the Horsham police are quite affable folk and keen to do their job but at the same time rather amateur about it.
Merlins fall has affected me more psychologically than I thought it would too. Since then I have had to battle with a lot more fear than normal on hard climbs when I am above the gear. Also I appear to be getting weak and feeble! Every grade I climb seems to be harder than it was in the first few weeks I was here and I tried the next step up the ladder on the sport wall above camp (french 8a) but the holds are just a bit too small for me to move between and all I accomplished was scraping flesh off my fingers.
I think I'm losing weight because I almost have a six pack :)
Thursday, 11 November 2010
Loose rock :(
Had a complicated few days. It all started when my climbing partner, Merlin, pulled off a massive piece of rock, ripped a piece of pro and hit the ground on rope stretch from about 15 metres up. It's amazing how the first aid training you never think you will remember trickles into the driving seat like some kind of automated reflex. Swear violently, Check self, swear, check casualty, shout for help, swear, put casualty in recovery position, run for help, send specific person to phone for help, get back to casualty immediately with reinforcements...
 |
| The block that nearly ended Merlin and I. |
Not textbook perfect but the wave of relief I experienced when I found Merlin had regained consciousness and moved was immense. From there on in various climbers then paramedics evaced him to hospital by ground then air. All the signs so far are that he will make a full recovery in a short period of time. I'll refrain from posting bloody closeups and settle for the boulder he pulled off.
On a lighter note the wildlife is really upping the ante at the moment. A massive huntsman spider scared the living daylights out of me, the mosquito incursion is turning into a full blown
 |
| Bearded dragon |
invasion from which I have hundreds of bites and every night before I go to sleep I have to persuade my resident stumpy and his wife to move to a more convenient location under the groundsheet of my tent. There is also an amazingly tollerant bearded dragon whose territory is right in the middle of the campsight.
 |
| Me on Kachoong |
On the climbing front I redpointed Have A Good Flight Direct, 27, my first 7c it would seem which is a pretty awesome milestone, now it's on to 8a I guess! Hard trad was on the cards till the boulder incident, now however the fuzz have impounded my gear for an investigation and a wee bit of sport using my brand new boots of agony seems the only likely activity for a few days. Talking of trad leads, I can now post a piccy of me on Kachoong.
Finally, I had an interesting time rescuing a pretty girl from a free hanging abseil after her belay device ate most of her hair. It turns out that if you approach on prussic from below (helpfully keeps the belay device locked so it can't move and make the situation worse) and don't want to cut the hair, you can get both peoples weight off the rope with a prussic above the belay device and a setup to hoist the trapped person with your own body weight. I assume this is pretty similar to a big wall hoist for bags that are not too heavy.
Sunday, 31 October 2010
Time to CRUSH!
Whether it's a meteoric strength increase, getting really used to the rock type or just that I stopped assuming things should be easy, climbing has been going spectacularly well! I was really happy to despatch Despatched on sight (23, trad) and I've been feeling a lot more comfortable on 20 and 21 grade climbs.
I have also taken a dive into the heady world of sport climb rope dangling. 5 minutes from the campsite there is a superb slightly leaning wall with lots of routes that are varients of one another where I have redpointed 24 and 25, should have 27 by the next time I post and still have to work at the 29 and 30. I'm beginning to think that a mixture of sport redpointing for strength and trad on sighting for headgame and gear is a winning formula.
Sadly, amidst the near constant rain of the last 2 days, we have transitioned into "no more fires on pain of serious fines" season, pretty ironic as I suspect the forrest would barely smoulder after a full on napalm strike at the moment. Sitting around a campfire chatting and staring into the flames will be missed. I guess with any luck it might be replaced by a "party tent", can but hope.
Oh, and, I kissed a girl and I liked it.
I have also taken a dive into the heady world of sport climb rope dangling. 5 minutes from the campsite there is a superb slightly leaning wall with lots of routes that are varients of one another where I have redpointed 24 and 25, should have 27 by the next time I post and still have to work at the 29 and 30. I'm beginning to think that a mixture of sport redpointing for strength and trad on sighting for headgame and gear is a winning formula.
Sadly, amidst the near constant rain of the last 2 days, we have transitioned into "no more fires on pain of serious fines" season, pretty ironic as I suspect the forrest would barely smoulder after a full on napalm strike at the moment. Sitting around a campfire chatting and staring into the flames will be missed. I guess with any luck it might be replaced by a "party tent", can but hope.
Oh, and, I kissed a girl and I liked it.
Wednesday, 20 October 2010
how gorgeous art thou Arapiles!
Well, I've been climbing every day at Arapiles since I got here on 11th October and the climbing is frankly incredible, every bit as good as I was led to believe. Sadly, though not unexpectedly, my arrival coincided with the end of a 12 year drought, between that and my managing to bring the worst flashfloods to the Sahara desert since I was born, I'm starting to wonder if I should rent myself out to drought ridden locations across the globe.
My body is currently bearing testament to the tenacity of the Australian mosquito, the intensity of the Australian sun and... well, something I havn't identified yet which has made an entire hand swell up and then elbow as well. Aside from the flies, mozzies and ants the wildlife is amazing, in a single day I see a half dozen species of lizards running around the place, including the slow shinglebacks: http://image14.webshots.com/14/5/94/2/173459402IxSCZr_fs.jpg which you can pick up easily. Birds, kangaroos, wallabees, everything is so exciting when you're seeing it for the first time!
The climbing has proven to be harder than fisting a velociraptor and my grade expectations have been rudely crushed! I did my first 22 trad onsight yesterday and I had to fight quite hard for it, I've been spanked by a few 23s and fallen off a 21 on second (Arapiles is sandbag central, even after careful grade editing by the guidebook authors). Sadly I can't upload pictures at the moment but I did manage to onsite the immortal line of Kachoong which looks something like this when a hot girl is doing it: http://www.onsight.com.au/gallery/images/large/200_217_07cfl.jpg Powering through the roof in such and insane position is, well, better than eating cake and quite possibly better than sex too.
I must mention the campground which is brilliant. Flushing toilets and water you can drink... If you don't mind "extra minerals" only 100 metres from the climbing and all for only 2 dollars a night. There are fires every night with everyone crowding round to talk shit about climbing, science, existentialism, breasts... and so on. The people at the Pines campground really are the finest in the world, my friend Ricky has cooked bread ranging from plain to chocolate and banana in his juryrigged oven for everyone to share in the evening and I'm only sitting typing this post because Marco swapped me his car for a rack for the day (my first experience of driving the unstoppable tank that is a Toyota Landcruiser).
I'm slightly dissapointed by the lack of single women at the Pines though, there are more girls than most anywhere else I have climbed but they are all attached to a climbing wad :(
Hopefully I will be able to find a way to upload pictures from my camera because there is quite a good one of the effects of 10 people throwing flour on a fire at the same time!
My body is currently bearing testament to the tenacity of the Australian mosquito, the intensity of the Australian sun and... well, something I havn't identified yet which has made an entire hand swell up and then elbow as well. Aside from the flies, mozzies and ants the wildlife is amazing, in a single day I see a half dozen species of lizards running around the place, including the slow shinglebacks: http://image14.webshots.com/14/5/94/2/173459402IxSCZr_fs.jpg which you can pick up easily. Birds, kangaroos, wallabees, everything is so exciting when you're seeing it for the first time!
The climbing has proven to be harder than fisting a velociraptor and my grade expectations have been rudely crushed! I did my first 22 trad onsight yesterday and I had to fight quite hard for it, I've been spanked by a few 23s and fallen off a 21 on second (Arapiles is sandbag central, even after careful grade editing by the guidebook authors). Sadly I can't upload pictures at the moment but I did manage to onsite the immortal line of Kachoong which looks something like this when a hot girl is doing it: http://www.onsight.com.au/gallery/images/large/200_217_07cfl.jpg Powering through the roof in such and insane position is, well, better than eating cake and quite possibly better than sex too.
I must mention the campground which is brilliant. Flushing toilets and water you can drink... If you don't mind "extra minerals" only 100 metres from the climbing and all for only 2 dollars a night. There are fires every night with everyone crowding round to talk shit about climbing, science, existentialism, breasts... and so on. The people at the Pines campground really are the finest in the world, my friend Ricky has cooked bread ranging from plain to chocolate and banana in his juryrigged oven for everyone to share in the evening and I'm only sitting typing this post because Marco swapped me his car for a rack for the day (my first experience of driving the unstoppable tank that is a Toyota Landcruiser).
I'm slightly dissapointed by the lack of single women at the Pines though, there are more girls than most anywhere else I have climbed but they are all attached to a climbing wad :(
Hopefully I will be able to find a way to upload pictures from my camera because there is quite a good one of the effects of 10 people throwing flour on a fire at the same time!
Thursday, 7 October 2010
Arrived, Knackered
Well, I'm sitting in Melbourne Airpronto after an extremely exhausting trip. Unbelievably I managed to catch 2 trains, 3 undergrounds and 3 planes without a single hitch. I didn't get taxed, inspected, insulted, threatened or jammed in a massive queue even once, after the last few flights with low cost airlines I was frankly gobsmacked!
Emirates airline staff were more than happy to give me extra food whenever I asked for it and enough wine to actually make me a bit drunk on the first flight. Get this; when I walked up to the desk to deposit my bags, the woman greeted me with "Hello sir, ok, I've got you an emergency exit row seat...." before I had opened my mouth and on the second flight the attendant moved some people around once on the plane and got me an exit seat there too. I honestly don't think I can find anything to complain about (boring, I know). It is a weird experience being given instructions in the airport by girls who look like they should still be at school though, I wouldn't have a hope of guessing ages in southeast Asia.
It is 4.50am and the next challenge is navigating to my cousins house from the airport and not arriving too early ;)
Emirates airline staff were more than happy to give me extra food whenever I asked for it and enough wine to actually make me a bit drunk on the first flight. Get this; when I walked up to the desk to deposit my bags, the woman greeted me with "Hello sir, ok, I've got you an emergency exit row seat...." before I had opened my mouth and on the second flight the attendant moved some people around once on the plane and got me an exit seat there too. I honestly don't think I can find anything to complain about (boring, I know). It is a weird experience being given instructions in the airport by girls who look like they should still be at school though, I wouldn't have a hope of guessing ages in southeast Asia.
It is 4.50am and the next challenge is navigating to my cousins house from the airport and not arriving too early ;)
Tuesday, 28 September 2010
Why I don't sport climb or boulder much
People keep asking me what I think is so bad about sport climbing (and bouldering for that matter). There are of course a massive number of mocking remarks that can be used to rile up an aficionado of any particular climbing discipline and in the past I have often resorted to these rather than a serious attempt to qualify why I don't find sport and bouldering very compelling. A small seed of an idea came to me a while ago however and recently fully blossomed into a realisation of what drives me to trad climb. Risk. Admitting this raises the horrible spectre that I might just be a bit of an adrenaline junkie which isn't an admission I really like making. When trad climbing, every nut or cam has a chance that it will fail and on most routes there are places where the consequences of a fall are either suspected to be serious or known to be serious. When sport climbing or bouldering (highballs excepted), every fall or failure is assumed to have next to no risk and as I feel like there is no penalty for failure, I also find I have little motivation to succeed. Obvious there are many other reasons I like trad but I think this might be the crux of the matter. there, now it is on record :)
Monday, 27 September 2010
Getting Excited
It's hard to concentrate at work when all I can think of is 100 different things I need to do before I leave. I spent about 3 hours this evening putting yellow tape on every piece of rock gear on my rack while watching Masters of Stone rather than tackle the ecosystem on my floor. I have also officially left Eve Online for the next 6 months (why are online addictions so hard to kick?!), if anyone from Eve is reading; don't worry about defending our stations, I have evacuated all my assets to low sec :D
My kidneys have finally stopped aching about 3 days after I imbibed an ill advised quantity of red wine and by all accounts, including my own fragmented memory, acted with jejune disregard and emotional instability. Time to resort to that oft made and never kept resolution to avoid alcohol I feel.
I have about 400 daily disposable contact lenses that I will never use now that I have had laser eye surgery. They are -6.5 dioptres and unfortunately very out of date. I have used them up till a couple months ago with no ill effects and as they are individually sealed in sterile liquid I have a hard job imagining what the use by date is for. If anyone can use them, let me know.
My kidneys have finally stopped aching about 3 days after I imbibed an ill advised quantity of red wine and by all accounts, including my own fragmented memory, acted with jejune disregard and emotional instability. Time to resort to that oft made and never kept resolution to avoid alcohol I feel.
I have about 400 daily disposable contact lenses that I will never use now that I have had laser eye surgery. They are -6.5 dioptres and unfortunately very out of date. I have used them up till a couple months ago with no ill effects and as they are individually sealed in sterile liquid I have a hard job imagining what the use by date is for. If anyone can use them, let me know.
Wednesday, 22 September 2010
Monday, 20 September 2010
So little time!
Only 2 weeks till I leave for Australia and suddenly there seems to be so much that needs done. I've started sorting through my things and the most worrying prize so far goes to the sock that appears to have belonged to a toddler at some stage!
Strange day at work too. 3 out of 4 instructional sessions turned out to be quite interesting which is certainly a first. First was the instructional session with 2 very nice young ladies, always a pleasure ;). Second got a bit more interesting with a mother who had a favourite-child syndrome the like of which I've basically never seen, very strange to see, wonder how that will play out in later life. Finally I had the adult who was sloshed by 4pm in the afternoon, accompanied by the child who had developed a rock solid ability to entertain herself and seemed to function in every aspect at least 3 or 4 years older than her 8yrs. Instructional sessions normally pass with nothing more interesting than the odd pushy parent going a bit beyond "encouragement" with their child. As I'm in control it usually ends well, except when the child in question grabs the wall and refuses to let go amidst floods of tears, never a good turn of events but children recover from that kind of fright surprisingly quickly.
Got loads of shiny new climbing kit today as well, so my rack is pretty much whole again. Happy days!
Managed to get away climbing for 4 days this week as well, was rather a case of trying to dodge the bad weather and nowhere looks that great. Managed to on sight a few routes from E1 to E3 though and found a really sweet looking line that may not have been climbed yet at Floors Craig near Aberdeen. With any luck I might be able to go back and try it before I leave for Australia, only thing is, it does look like a short section of snappy strenuous brit tech 6b, not really my forte. Maybe I will look at it on abseil... OMG, call the ethics police!
Strange day at work too. 3 out of 4 instructional sessions turned out to be quite interesting which is certainly a first. First was the instructional session with 2 very nice young ladies, always a pleasure ;). Second got a bit more interesting with a mother who had a favourite-child syndrome the like of which I've basically never seen, very strange to see, wonder how that will play out in later life. Finally I had the adult who was sloshed by 4pm in the afternoon, accompanied by the child who had developed a rock solid ability to entertain herself and seemed to function in every aspect at least 3 or 4 years older than her 8yrs. Instructional sessions normally pass with nothing more interesting than the odd pushy parent going a bit beyond "encouragement" with their child. As I'm in control it usually ends well, except when the child in question grabs the wall and refuses to let go amidst floods of tears, never a good turn of events but children recover from that kind of fright surprisingly quickly.
Got loads of shiny new climbing kit today as well, so my rack is pretty much whole again. Happy days!
Managed to get away climbing for 4 days this week as well, was rather a case of trying to dodge the bad weather and nowhere looks that great. Managed to on sight a few routes from E1 to E3 though and found a really sweet looking line that may not have been climbed yet at Floors Craig near Aberdeen. With any luck I might be able to go back and try it before I leave for Australia, only thing is, it does look like a short section of snappy strenuous brit tech 6b, not really my forte. Maybe I will look at it on abseil... OMG, call the ethics police!
Sunday, 12 September 2010
Preparation
It's been a successful summer in terms of climbing. I had some superb trips to Sheigra, Gogarth, the Dolomites and Chamonix and a few trips to local cliffs as well. These days it seems like a single day trip just will not cut it because there is almost nothing left to climb anywhere near Edinburgh (excepting garbage routes and routes that are well beyond me, of which there are many). The most successful note being my success at on sighting an E5, a target which I set myself somewhat arbitrarily when I started climbing quite a few years ago. As with all successes however, it has a bitter-sweet taste because after a brief moment of euphoria I realise that climbing will lose it's meaning unless I can concoct another target, and it had better be one that will take a monumental effort too because getting to E5 was not easy!
So. The new target shall be to on sight an E7!
My reasoning is thus:
- There are quite a lot of climbers operating at this level these days and the bleeding edge is really on-sighting E8, so I will not need to be a leading climber (which isn't going to happen!), just a very good climber.
- I am not actually very strong and on the rare occasion I sport climb I seem to start failing at about f7a and fail more epicly from there on up. If I can on sight trad at my maximum sport grade then I only need to get strong enough to climb about f7c or so and E7 should be within my grasp.
- It's "only" 2 grades harder than E5. Haheha, that sounds hollow even to my ears!
I'm off to Australia (mount arapiles to be precise) for several months at least from the start of October so hopefully I can use my time over there to get strong enough to come back and on sight some E6s. That is the plan at any rate.
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